Jettison
by ToBecomeAClown
Summary: She sighed once his lights were out of sight. The basketball and her husband gone. Not a car in sight. Haley James Scott was all alone, and not feeling too good about it. Naley. Season 3. Oneshot.


**A/N: Set season 3. About a week after Haley returns home from the tour. This is my first OTH story, so please review, I need the feedback in order to improve. Thank you!**

"What do you want?" He spit out harshly as she came into appearance at the River Court. With hands in the pockets of her red trench coat, the dark-washed skinny jeans tucked into her Steve Madden boots and her golden hair lying softly around her face, she looked beautiful. Not that it mattered anyway. He didn't care about how pretty she looked. At this point he saw through all the make-up and past the expensive clothes and he only saw the girl who betrayed him. The girl who betrayed their marriage.

She rolled her eyes at his bitter tone. She knew he only faked it; pretended like he hated her as a shield. He didn't hate her. He was just angry and hurt, which she understood. But still, she hid the roll of her eyes. She knew she was already stuck in a large hole with him and the last thing she needed was to dig any deeper. She hated that she had to be so sensitive around him; she hated that she had to constantly be tiptoeing around him and his feelings. But, then again, she loved him and missed him and needed him back so if that is what it took to get him she would do it.

"I didn't know you were going to be here." She lied.

Lucas had told her that since the first day she left, Nathan had spent all time with basketball except for when he slept. He figured that if something he thought was so stable, something that he loved so much could perish and be taken away from him one time, why couldn't it happen again? So he dedicated himself to basketball, more than he had even before he knew Haley's name. He went to school only so he could play for the team. Then, when Whitey kicked him out of the school gym, he went straight to the River Court, until his body wouldn't let him play anymore and he was forced to go back to the place that he slept; hardly a home.

"Oh." Nathan simply said as he made a shot.

She walked carefully to one of the tables that aligned the edge of the River Court and took a seat on the table, though she was hesitant. She seemed as though every step she took and every move she made were being judged and critiqued by him. Which they were. He was always watching her at school, or whenever he passed by the front of Karen's Café and she was working. But at those moments, the moments he stole glances at her, there was no judgment. Those times were just for reminiscing and going back to old memories. Good memories.

Yet, he did get filled with anger from time to time when he passed by the Café. How in the hell did she get her job back so easily? Why did everything else go right back to the way it was before she left? She left. She changed. She didn't only hurt him; she left her best friend, her job. How could they all just pretend nothing happened? She deserved to be punished and locked out.

"But I am glad that you're here." She offered after a few minutes of silence. He had continued to play and shoot and she just watched him in admiration. When she was on tour she missed her job at Karen's Café, she missed the River Court, she missed hanging out with Lucas, she missed going to basketball games, but most of all she missed him. Her husband. Nathan.

She didn't only miss him, his physical being, being there next to her when she woke up, or the dinners he rarely made for her, or the many thanks she received for the multiple dinners she made him. She missed him talking to her, whether it be about his twisted relationships with his parents, or about his history paper that his tutor, is going to help him write. Hell, she missed sighing in frustration about his socks that she had to constantly pick up because God forbid he toss it five feet over into the laundry hamper. She just missed everything and would do anything to get it all back.

God, dinner. She forgot about that, well, she never even thought about situations like that in general. How did he eat? He always burnt scrambled eggs and never let water fully boil before pouring in the noodles to make spaghetti. How did she figure that would be able to suffice without her on any level at all?

"Whatever." He made another shot. She sighed, but not too loudly. She needed just one night without somebody yelling at her.

She got back a week ago. Most things seemed to be the way they were before she left. Lucas greeted her with arms wide open; Karen easily gave her job back at the Café to her. The streets looked the same, the flowers smelled the same and that air felt the same.

Some people did change, though. Brooke. She never would have pictured Brooke as the type of girl to take her in. It almost seemed charitable, what she did for her, and she was surprised. Well, it could have just as easily been out of pity, but that was also not exactly what emotion she expected from Brooke either, so either way she still changed; she still seemed rather different.

Peyton. She was different. Well, maybe not a different person, just different when it came to her. Out of everything that was different when she came back to Tree Hill, Peyton's anger towards her was the thing that she understood the least. First, she was never that great of friends with Peyton. She was cool and maybe they were friendly towards each other, but not friends. How could Peyton be so incredibly pissed at something that didn't include her? Plus, Lucas left and came back; she wasn't that pissed then, and that affected her directly. But mostly, the teen singer was just didn't care. Sure, she would appreciate having the friend, and the little extra support, but her priority wasn't to sort of become relatively friendly with Peyton again, it was to fix her marriage.

Her marriage. That changed. Certainly not for the better. In fact, it became worse than she ever truly imagined any sort of marriage that was once filled with all that love could ever become. But she still never lost hope. Or at least she never stopped trying to fix it. Even if she didn't believe that her marriage, her life, could ever truly be fixed, she was going to die trying to fix it.

And clearly, there was a change in Nathan, but that was expected, especially since he went to visit her and she turned him down, so he left like the coward he was. She once recalled him telling her that she was worth more than his pride. She guesses that changed. But again, not unexpected. She pretty much left him when he gave her an ultimatum, with a guy that she kissed and knew her husband hated, and then told him that she wasn't sure whether or not their marriage was a mistake. She didn't expect him to forgive her right away, or to let her right back into his heart and his life, but she thought that a week into her arrival, they would have at least made a little progress, yet, if anything, it seems like they moved backward. She saw something in his eyes, the day she showed up on his doorstep, a flicker of love in his eyes. Now that was dead, she never saw that. And they still haven't touched each other. Well, at least he hasn't touched her.

"I miss you. Every day."

She saw him open his mouth to say something, but she wasn't quite finished yet.

"Don't. Don't tell me that you didn't miss me again, or that you did, but that doesn't mean anything. Nathan, I know I hurt you, and I know that I was a terrible wife and that I ruined our marriage and everything that it had to offer us, but I want to change that. Since when are people not given second chances, especially the people you love?"

"Who said I still loved you?"

She felt the tears welling up in her eyes and she just looked at him. She saw a lapse in his face for a second, something too quick that she couldn't tell if it was out of pity or guilt or rage, but then he returned to his look being stone. Not changing, not allowing anything to penetrate and break through it.

"Love doesn't fade that quickly." She muttered. Her voice so soft and weak, that he didn't hear her, or even notice that her lips moved.

With the tears still threatening to pour out of her eyes any second, she looked straight at him.

"It doesn't matter. I still love you, and I always will. You're not going to lose me that easily."

"Yeah, well it wasn't that damn hard the first time. You packed a bag and left in the ten minutes I was mad at you. I don't imagine you'll stay along that long this time either."

"I didn't leave you, Nathan." She was getting angry, and Nathan already was. He always was.

"Oh, right, my bad, when you left with Keller, you didn't leave me. I came right along with you like you asked, right? Or you just never left at all. The last couple of months were just some sort of horrible dream—"

"That's not what I meant." She interrupted, now not having any control over the tears coming out of her eyes.

"I didn't leave you. I mean, it wasn't about you. It was about me and my music. Never in my decision was there a 'you'll never have to see Nathan again under the pro list' you are not why I went on tour, my music is."

"What are you saying? Of course it was about me. We're married, Haley. Everything you do or say or think about involves the both of us. And dammit, Haley, I hope that there was no pro and con list. I hope that it was some sort of impulse you acted on because if you really thought about it and I was just some bullet, if our marriage was just some goddam bullet as a reason not to go on tour, then what the hell were we doing in the first place?"

They both sat there in silence for a moment, while Haley continued to let tears freely pour from her eyes and he just stared at her. He was angrier than ever yet he began to speak in a voice that sounded more sad and depressed than angry.

"God, Haley, I gave everything for you and for us. You know, I tried so damn hard to make you happy. You were the first person I ever loved more than myself. I would've given up basketball for you."

If it were humanly possible, she began to cry more than before. She could barely support her shaking body as she was sitting on the table top. Not that she could see clearly out of her tearstained eyes, and if she didn't know him better, she would've said he was crying as well. But she knew that that was most likely not true. She's only seen him cry once or twice throughout all the time she knew him and especially now, when this Haley was pretty much a stranger to him, he wouldn't cry in front of her. He wouldn't give her that side of him now.

He approached her now. He didn't want to hug her, or embrace her. He wouldn't give her that comfort because he couldn't give her that hope, and she didn't deserve it. Though, he did put his hands on her knees. She jumped a little at his touch, obviously unaware that he had set down the basketball and began to approach her at all, but she looked up.

Nathan automatically felt bad, but still he wouldn't show it. The last couple of nights he thought about his attitude towards his wife a lot. He knew that he loved her and he needed her. Nathan knew that she did truly feel sorry, and that she wanted him just as badly. Still, he couldn't let her back in completely. She was the only one to ever take away the wall blocking his heart, they both knew that. It was like she came in with a wrecking ball and tore it down in a split second. Then she left. She left for just the right amount of time for him to build it back up again, this time with stronger concrete and more precision. He knew that the concrete was still wet. If she continued, she could pull that wall right back down, but he banned the sight of any wrecking ball, and she had to do it by hand, taking it brick by brick.

Then, after he thought too much about it and he began to grow weary, he always scolded himself. He considered himself an asshole of the greatest kind, and it took him every ounce of reserve in him not to go over to his old apartment, his old home with her, and take her back. If he knew that they would eventually get back together anyway, then what in the hell was he waiting for.

"Haley, I'm sorry for before. I love you, alright? That's why this is killing me so damn bad right now. I would do anything for you and our marriage, and in one second you just leave. You abandoned me and everything that we had. So yeah, I'm pissed, and I'm going to be pissed for a while. And I, I can't answer any questions you have about our future because I don't know."

She sunk lower into the table, yet made sure his hands remained on her knees, on any part of her body at all. His calloused hands were ice cold and hard, but it still comforted her.

"Okay. But what about now? Where are we today?" She asked, maybe a little too desperately.

They were looking into each other's eyes now. Nathan was trying to think of a response that would answer her question, and she was just appreciating the moment, not the words being spoken since they weren't making her feel any better, but just the moment; his hands in hers, their eyes gazing at each other, the wind blowing slightly.

"Now, you go back to your apartment, I go back to my big empty house, and I see you in the halls tomorrow at school."

"Nathan—"

"Goodnight, Haley."

With that, he backed away from her, went back to the orange ball that was still only the second most important thing in his life and walked in the direction of his car. He looked back at his wife and threw her a slight smile, even though she wasn't looking his way.

"I love you." She called out, still looking ahead of her, instead of to her left, where her husband, the place these words were directed to, stood, opening his car door. He smiled again in response and hopped in.

She looked up once she heard him start the engine, and saw his lights go on as he reversed. She smiled slightly, not out of happiness, but out of satisfaction and hope. She sighed once his lights were out of sight and the only things enabling her to see were the two street lights hanging above her head. The basketball and her husband gone. Not a car in sight. Haley James Scott was all alone, and not feeling too good about it.


End file.
